It Only Comes Out At Night

WTF.. I checked my calendar and I thought Halloween came early!! Here is Lohan(whats left of her) and Donetella at some wig/tanning convention.. When a 23 year old is looking more haggard then the Crypt Keeper its time to re-evaluate your entire exsistence!!.. No matter how much spray tan you glob on your face or make-up or peroxide you throw on your head its not gonna work!

And Linds get rid of that blonde hair it clashes with your coke glow!

NO Jail Time For Crackie

...Whew what would I have done!! No cracked out Tweets, no ranting interviews, and best yet no god awful fashion pieces from Ungagro.. how would I get my leggins????

Linds was summomed to court because there were rumblings in between blackouts and huffing that she missed Booze 101.. Linds pleased no contest to the 2 DUI charges and she could of went to jail but then again when does anyone in Hollywood go to jail.. I think jail would of done her good


People mag says that the judge extended her probation for another year so that she could finally complete drunk classes so peel yourself off the floor Linds and get your ass to class, DONT BE TARDY FOR THE PARTY!!. The judge said she's "rooting for" Linds and hopes she can do what she's supposed to do.

Mind you if this was any of of us we would be in jail.. And oh yeah she was 90 minutes late for court...

This judge has done nothing but enable this drunk even further.

Different Mag Same Crack Stories

Lindsay Lohan went to Paris last week to unveil her new fashion line and to everyones shocking suprise it failed.. So what does a Crackie to do well party like its 1999!.. Break out the booze, coke, and start huffing on an exhaust pipe .. yes I think shes that desperate.. Heres the latest from Star Mag:

The once-promising actress collapsed during a week-long party, as her vodka, cocaine and prescription pills habits caught up with her. Now as Star reports in its Oct. 26 issue — on newsstands now — her few remaining friends fear it is too late to save her. “She’s a wreck, a mess, a disaster,” one tells Star. “She an obituary waiting to happen.” Despite three trips to rehab and two DUI arrests, all before her 23rd birthday, Linds cannot stop herself from drowning her sorrows. Even the night before her big runway debut with her Emanuel Ungaro clothing line she was up till dawn partying. And once the scathing reviews were in for her line, things got worse. “She was crushed,” says one insider who saw her at a bash thrown by photographer Mario Testino. “Her eyes were red and puffy, and at one point she started shouting and tearing up.” Soon after, Lindsay collapsed on a couch and passed out. “Her friends had to get her out of there before things got any worse.”...One of Lindsay's friends adds, “She’s definitely hit rock bottom. The next level is six feet under.”

and when this says friends TRANSLATION DRUG DEALER AND HER ENABLERS.. side eye to White Oprah

Dead by Xmas but hey White Oprah you have 2 more kids to whore out.. price of fame....

Michael Stages An Intervention

And annouces it to any media outlet that will listen to him.. Ok Im not all that familiar with Interventions but from what I understand the person going into rehab isnt suppose to know right?? Oh wait now I get it because everyone knows that the ONLY way to stage an intervention is by running to the tabloids. Silly me.. Anything to stay revelant


Michael called,emailed,showed up in person to whomever at Radaronline would listen to him and said:

“I had a conversation with her, her mother and everyone…over the next couple of weeks I’m going to be doing things in a pretty public way. But Dina has got to get on the same page with me. It’s a serious situation. You can’t just talk about it and tell me that you want to do an intervention and then do nothing. When Lindsay doesn’t adhere or listen to what I say about serious situations, I feel I have to speak publicly to put pressure on her. If she doesn’t take my advice and do what I say…the more pressure I put on her, the more likely she is to eventually do the right thing

Seriously I cant even call these to people parents because parents actually give a damn about their children. Yes Crackie should be responsible for her own actions she old enough but one would think her so-called parents would have intervened a long time ago if for no other reason than to keep their meal ticket alive as long as possible..

I wouldnt be shocked either if Michael called A&E to put her on Intervention

White Oprah Makes An Annoucement

And its not about her troubled daughter or the fact that she wants to help her daughter, or to admit her daughter into rehab.. Nah why bother when you can soak off whats left of your crackhead of a daughters fame..

NOPE its all about Dina THE SELF ABSORBED Mother of The Year


Dina Lohan, diva and star of the hit E! show "Living Lohan," as well as mother to actress and starlet( and now crackhead because shes surrounded by ENABLERS.. SIDE EYE TO DINA) Lindsay, will be holding a major press conference and media reception on Thursday October, 8th at 2pm at Trump Plaza, 725 5th Avenue, Floor 21, Marc Fisher showroom, to announce a creation of her new own shoe line, "Shoe-han'' as well as becoming a national spokesmodel for the popular LoveMyShoes.com retail designer ladies footwear stores.

Other celebrities that have sold millions of shoes include: Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani, Star Jones, Carlos Santana and more.

LoveMyShoes.com hopes to have Dina's shoes available world-wide from coast to coast by Mother's Day. She will be appearing as a shoe fashionista later this on month on television and radio commercials. The shoe store chain was founded on Long Island, home of the Lohan family.


Im sure these shoes will have that Frederick of Hollywood feel to them... Ali does need some new shoes for Amateur night

HEY DINA TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAMN KIDS!

Crackie's Dad Speaks

... to the media of course.. The Greatest Dad Ever claims his daughter is in a bad way and is on the path to complete destruction and what better way to help her then talk to every news outlet that will listen to him.. Really she has a problem?? who knew..

Michael aid "I'm going to get her off the prescription drugs that she's on. I hate it when people talk about illegal drug abuse... because it's not just drinking and illegal drugs that kill you. Prescription drugs can destroy and kill a person and are sometimes harder to stop. Look at Heath Ledger and Michael

"You know why Lindsay's not acting in feature films right now? Because she can't. Because the girl with all the talent is hidden and buried deep inside this fungus that's grown because of the prescription drugs. She can't be herself. When you hug her she's like, vacant inside. When she kisses or holds me I get chills, and not in a good way-in a bad way. She's a different person. I was out there for a week when she was living at the Sunset Marquis Hotel and I would sit there and cry. It was horrible. This was not the kid I raised. Whoever the people are that came into her life and convinced her otherwise should be thrown in jail, because they're the same type of people who are responsible for the deaths of Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson and DJ AM. Everything was fine in our family until Dina and I got divorce. And that's when all the kids' lives started to unravel... including Lindsay's."


But seriously, she does need help. Someone needs to 5150 her ass (this means you, White Oprah & Father of the Year). She's headed for an early grave.

Crackie On A Pole

Try not to laugh:

Sexy Lindsay Lohan poses seductively on a stripper pole in this shot to promote her line of leggings. The Hollywood starlet goes blonde and shows off plenty of leg in a ripped pair of leggings from her 6126 range, named after Marilyn Monroe's birth date. The label describes itself as "a lifestyle brand of feminine power and grace".

Yes Linds love the background setting you look like you are on a very bad porn set in someones basement.. or maybe shes in the basement of her local crack house...

Comparing Lindsay Lohan to an architect for her fashion "design" is like comparing Kanye West to Maya Angelou for his public "speaking."

Linds the Rock Of Love Bus is waiting for you..

Oh Crackie...

Lindsay Lohan was hired to do something in Singapore last weekend at the F1 event. Beyonce was booked as the marquee performer. Her people claimed the biggest dressing room tricked out in mirrors and food and whatever other excessive gear Beyonce needs during a 3 hour window.

Crackie thought the room was for her.. Well what do you expect she thought she was in heaven with all those mirrors I cant blame the ho

But when B’s entourage arrived – 70 strong – Crackie was told to beat it telling reporters later that:

"I've been a bit down. It was a strange night. Everyone was being aggressive and bothering me. I really didn't like it."

Yeah Linds its kinda of buzz kill when you are the only cracked out one see Singapore doesnt stand for drugs

And Linds brought along her um 16 (cough cough 40 ) year old sister with her.. Umm shouldnt she be in school.. oh wait shes going to the school of Lohan .. shes learning to hide her coke and when someone finds it on you, you claim that the pants,shirt,bra (if she even wears one), shoes, bag isnt yours.. and oh yeah if you get a really bad hangover just check in to rehab

4TH,5TH,6TH TIME A CHARM??

Linds my favorite Crackie has claimed to be sober ever since leaving rehab and yeah the moon is made of cheese.. Anyblow

Hollywood Scoop reports:

Inside sources tell Hollyscoop that Lindsay Lohan was kicked out of the Bowery Hotel in New York City last night after a blow-up fight with Samantha Ronson. Police were called to the scene after Lindsay reportedly "threw a room-service tray at what she thought was her girlfriend's door" during a heated fight. The only problem was…she threw that tray at the wrong door. As a result Lindsay was kicked out of the posh hotel, with authorities escorting her off the premises. The same source claims Lindsay’s friends and family are planning on staging an intervention to get her back in rehab for the fourth time! It’s official! Lindsay is a mess! Her family and friends have a right to be concerned for her health and her safety. She’s clearly a threat to herself and those around her!

I find it funny though how they let her little sister hang out with her and partying up like 2 ho's on Strawberry Boone at every night club in town.. the whole family needs rehab Im sure they could probably get a discount...

And Linds keep the needle out of your lips

Crackie News..

In an interview with Access Hollywood, Lohan aka Frecula says that she's fine media in her life all the time, because it's what she's always wanted. She said, “Everyone goes through tough times and the second that I decided I wanted to be in front of the camera … I think I’ve always kind of aspired to be like Britney Spears in the tabloids when I was in middle school. It’s kind of something you sign up for in the beginning and if you really want it, you know that comes with it."

Crackie Translation: she's grateful they still talk about her and take her pic... keep sending cracked out twitter updates,flash your vag for all to see and trust us WE DONT.., and dont wear a bra.. great role model

Again this Crackie is 23 YIKES! Coke does a body good.. click the image if you dare..

Frecula Twitters

Once again Linds aka Frecula takes to her Twitter acct to fight with her on again off again girlfriend Samantha Ronson in between bong hits and snorting boog sug..

Im trying to decrypt the Crackie language but basically Samantha is a self out? and I guess a cheat? Everytime I read a tweet from Lohan I feel like she closes her eyes and starts slamming the keyboard until she's got something that makes some sense but then again in a crackies world anything can make sense. A. Linds is illiterate or B. just in a blackout.. Im going with blackout.. And heres is Linds leaving the Waverly before her cracked out Twitter meltdown

ARTISTIC ADVISOR.. WTF

In crazy Crackie News WWD has announced that after months of rumors Lohan (aka Frecula see my other post), is officially the “artistic adviser” at Ungaro. Lohan and the new chief designer, Estrella Archs, will debut the fashion house's new collection in Paris on October 4th.

Expect to find her crap in the local Goodwill Bin...

Lohan said she plans to make Ungaro "younger." She went on to shake and say (you know all crackies have the shakes), “When I’m involved in a project, I give my all to it.... TRANSLATION: meltdowns, hangovers, stealing shit AND SHOWING up late for work... Lohan then on to twitch I feel like there’s a correlation between everything I do, whether it’s pop music or film. I’ve always played a big part in what I wear, the costumes. Clothing is something that’s so expressive in so many ways. It really interests me. To be in a position where I’m working with a fashion house in Paris sets it apart from every other celebrity brand.”

Step away from the drugs you look older then Charo and we all know shes old as shit..

Lindsay Is Funny...

Here is Linds bleached and blotchy and well looking like her usual crackie self..

And Linds you are so funny but Im onto you shes trying to pull an early April Fools joke.. Right now all the dealers in LA are heading to the unemployment office as they will soon be out of biz since Linds is saying no to the Boog Sug.. I bet the back of the shirt says but I say yes to Dealers...

Heres a tip Lindsay say YES TO FOOD...

Again shes only 23....

Since When Are Vampires Orange...FRECULA !!!

Lindsay Lohan, who has already admitted that she's a major True Blood fanwhore, posted these pictures of her as a vampire on her Twitter from her new crackden apparently hanging out with Jason Segal and her lil sis Allie.. Sorry Linds maybe if it was call Tru Crackie then the director would call you back and since its not well dont sit by the phone


Linds you would have a better chance at getting the role of Nosferatu with that emaciated frame of yours..

Is it just me or do the fangs look like she shoved tampons in her mouth... Im just saying.....

HAPPY LABOR DAY!

Oh Hohan keep up your fuckery it just makes my day

Lindsay Lohan To Pose Naked In Playboy

According SFGate, Lindsay Lohan was reportedly offered $900,000 to pose naked for Playboy. According to reports to has turned it down... well she does have 2 million worth of jewerly.. oh wait that was stolen (cough cough bullshit)

I dont know what Playboy was thinking offer her 900k.. I need to have a talk with them because they know nothing about negotations with a crackie.. Start off by offering her some blow and some booze and when she says no again offer some crack Im sure she will jump on the offer

Its nice to see Lohan wearing a bra finally.... Im ending on a positive note

Linds In Trouble Again

My favorite Crackie is also a Klepto these 2 combinations go hand in hand..

We all know she Lohan claimed to be robbed and the pictures look like its herself robbing herself.. yeah still shaking my head at that one .. Well I can see why she claimed this...

Radar Online is reporting that XIV Karats is getting ready to take legal action against Blohan, because she hasn't returned $2 million dollars worth of jewels she borrowed from them over two months ago.

The source said, "Lindsay claimed that they had been stolen from her safe. They've disappeared. XIV are not happy about it. The jewels were in Lindsay's care and they were only on a loaner, they were expected to be returned. If something is not resolved soon there will be legal action taken."

Michael defended his daughter (yeah cuz their relationship is stable) "Lindsay didn't take anything from them. They lent her jewelry and she has to give it back to them. That's all I know. She has no intention of keeping any of it. So I guess they're sorting it out."

More like she snorted it all up

Who in their right mind who ever lend this Crackhead anything let alone jewelry! Shes one of those people the minute you put something down its in their pocket or your shoes are now on their feet

CRACKIE TO GET HER OWN REALITY SHOW

Mirror reports:

Lindsay Lohan's life often resembles a soap opera, and now she's rumoured to be going the whole hog with her own TV show. The actress is reportedly in talks to turn her troubled life into a reality programme for the small screen. Cameras will follow the 23-year-old as she attempts to get her career on track with a Hollywood comeback. To help her in the task, Lindsay has called on Britney Spears' manager Larry Rudolph to help with the TV venture. A source told Fox News: "Rudolf is helping Lohan with a potential reality show that will encapsulate her trials and tribulations as she gets back on her feet and actually becomes a working actress again..

I will say if Larry Rudolph has anything to do with it, it will probably work,.. He got Britney back on track after her crazy umbrella hitting head shaving ways... sad I miss the crazy...

I dont know if I could watch this after 10 minutes crackheads aren't funny anymore

A Crackie Could Be Coming To Your Hood

As we all heard Linds crackden was broken into and a bunch of shit was stolen well according to Radar Online her neighbors want her out

“The truth is that this is a very quiet neighborhood and there have been no break-ins apart from at Lindsay Lohan’s house,” a neighbor told RadarOnline.com. “Since she moved in last November it has been a nightmare with all the paparazzi parking in our driveways waiting for her.”

The star was targeted for a second time at her rented home after thieves made off with a safe, bags, jewelry and shoes belonging to the actress. The first robbery was reported in May and the latest one occurred in the early hours of Sunday morning. Detectives at the Hollywood police station are currently reviewing video footage which reportedly caught three men leaving the house aka her drug dealers

Linds is looking for a new place to stay so is there an available crackhouse in your neighborhood? I'd invite her to my neighborhood but she would buy up all the good drugs and I cant have that.. Yeah I know im selfish...